Alchemist Reborn
by thewhitewolf1412
Summary: Edward Elric's dead, and has been reincarnated as the boy-who-lived. The wizarding world wont know what hit them. Rated T for Ed's/Harry's mouth and past yaoi experiences.
1. Chapter 1

A sigh left the hunched over figure as they once again failed to shape the earth the way they wanted. Mismatched green and gold eyes glared at the circle before turning to the side to start a new.

'What am I missing? Are there not enough components in the area to make a proper transmutation?' Gloved hands ruffled shaggy black hair as the owner cursed in german. 'Damnit, I need another conductor than.' Standing from the ground he patted himself down and left the deserted playground, his hands already in his pockets and pulling out a notebook.

"Ah, so you're back again Harry?" "Yeah, I'm stumped." The pre-teen sat glumly on the barstool, giving it a spin. The older male behind the counter placed a cup of coffee before him.

"Have you asked Nicolas yet?"

"You know that old bag of bones doesn't know real Alchemy, hell his own world is so backwards they're still writing with feathers!" Harry downed his drink and motioned for another.

The man gave him a look as he refilled the cup. "He's the greatest wizard known to man, plus he's made a sorcerer's stone." The boy snorted into his cup. "He made a simple one, a real stone is made up of thousands of human lives, you know this already Tom, I've told you so many times!"

The man huffed at that. Harry looked down into the rich coloured liquid. "Magic isn't real, I'm a doubting Thomas on that one." He finished off his drink and stood from the bar. "I'm off, Petunia is waiting for me to come fix her dishwasher ,the bloody woman."

Waving a farewell to Tom he headed home to another night of boredom.

* * *

"Damned birds, flying around the place. I should catch one and turn it into a chimera." Harry dodged a swoop from a barn owl, wincing as it screeched at him. Taking a metal rod from his coat, the boy palmed the item between his hands and focused.

Blue sparks of energy burst forward, covering the metal and shaping it into a gun. He clicked the safety off and pointed it right at the birds. "Bye Bye little birdie." He shot the bird down, then opened fire on it's companions. "Hey look Spike, they're all carrying letters." His coat moved slightly as a small head poked out.

"Who the hell sends letters through bird post? Even back home they didn't do this." Gathering up both the letters and owls he placed them all in a pile. "Spike, if you would be so kind." The little chimera chirped before spitting flames onto them. Harry coughed at the smoke. "Ew, at least the Colonel bastard's flame never stunk like this."

Once the pile was in ashes, the two left the park.

* * *

"All I wanted to do today was study my notes on the chemical bonds between atoms, but I'm here instead listening to an old woman spew nonsense about magic."

Harry ignored the two magicals with ease as he recited the periodic table from memory. 'Now let's see, I left off at Barium.'

" ! Can you please focus?" The boy scowled at that.

"I don't go by that last name anymore, It's Harry Elric." Professor McGonagall gave him a stern look from over her glasses, but Harry's been glared at by much worse. The sour man beside her, Severus Snape sneered at him.

'What's his problem? He looks like a bat chimera gone wrong.' Masking his snicker with a cough the boy gave the duo an unimpressed look. "I refuse to go to your magic school, I'm fine here."

* * *

"Can't believe Tom bribed me with advanced science textbooks to come here." Harry grumbled lowly under his breath as he lugged his suitcase through the station. He searched for the pillar that red 9 3/4 but was stumped. 'Of course it's a magic thing, so they must have it under some barrier. That would have been useful back home.' Harry shook his head.

"Pipsqueak?" A tick mark appeared over his eye at the name. Swallowing his rant the boy turned to the speaker. A girl stood a few feet from him, lugging a rather large trunk over her shoulder. Mismatched brown and black eyes met another pair before Harry's jaw dropped. "Colonel bastard?!" The girl grinned at him.

"Hey shorty." He snapped. "WHO YOU CALLING SHORTY?!" The boy yelled, grabbing the attention of those in the station. Seeing the looks aimed at them the girl shushed the ranting pre-teen. "Shut up Fullmetal, you're causing a scene." Harry quieted, throwing glares at anyone staring. "Let's take this somewhere else."

* * *

"I knew this place was stuck in the old times, look it's a bloody steam engine!" Harry growled as he climbed in, the Colonel right behind him. "Let's look for an empty compartment." The duo wandered down the rows, peeking in to any compartments until they found one right in front. "Ugh, what a walk." Harry turned toward the racks when he noticed that they were bolted in a few feet above him.

The Colonel snickered as he watched the smaller struggle. "Want some help brat?" He threw the other a glare before an idea hit him. Clapping his hands and pressing them against the floor he rose several feet into the air.

"Nice transmutation, needs a bit of work though." Harry shoved his suitcase into the racks just as his platform wobbled and deconstructed from under him. He fell with a yelp, landing right on his ass. "Looks like I still need some practice." He suddenly turned to the other, who easily set her trunk beside his. "So, Introductions." Harry nodded as he made himself comfortable.

The room fell silent, neither making any move to speak. Finally Harry growled in annoyance. "You're so annoying, apparently my new name in this world is Harry Potter." The girl choked at his name. "What about you Colonel bastard? What do they call you?" Composing herself the girl gave him a look. "Hermione Granger." "It's funny how in this life you'd be reincarnated as a girl." Harry snickered as the Colonel scowled.

"Seems my womanizing has come back to bit me in the ass." Hermione sighed before a knock at the door silenced them. The two glanced at each other, then at the door. "Should we open it?" "What do you think Fullmetal?" Harry warily unlocked the door before he yelped as a figure tackled him to the ground. "Brother!" "Alphonse?!" Hermione looked at the two boys laying on the ground before swiftly locking the door and sitting back to watch the show. Harry grinned from under the other boy. "Al! Is it really you?" The boy leaned back to look him over. "It's me brother, though you look different."

"Look who's talking." He poked slightly cubby cheeks with his gloved hand. The boy swatted him away. "Quit it!" Hermione cleared her throat, drawing attention to her. "As much fun as it is to see Fullmetal on the floor we really should be getting ready." "Ready for what?" "For the long train ride to a magic school." The boy quickly got off of Harry and took a seat.

"So, another round of introductions is in order." Hermione pointed to Harry. "The pipsqueak over there is as you know Edward, but his new name is Harry Potter." The boy's jaw dropped.

"Mine was Roy Mustang, but now it's Hermione Granger." She pointed toward him. "Now we know you're Alphonse but who are you now?" "Neville Longbottom." Both snickered as he blushed. "Damn, these wizards sure have weird names."

* * *

"Holy hell! That guy's nearly the same size as Armstrong!" Harry gaped at the man as Neville tugged him toward the boat Hermione was standing in. "You're just small Fullmetal."

"You wanna fight Colonel Bastard?" "Can you both not fight?" "We're standing over water, one wrong move and you'll be useless." "At least I can use my alchemy properly, how's yours going?" The two bickered as another entered the boat.

"What's wrong with your eye?" Both teens paused as they noticed the addition to the boat.

Neville sighed as fire erupted in their eyes. 'Oh boy.' "None of your business, now shut up I was talking to the bastard over here." "Bring it on shorty." Harry flew at him, knocking the both of them into the water.

"Hey! You two over there!" The giant of a man wandered over and fished the two from the water, both spitting curses and fists. "Could you two not get in trouble on the first day?"

Neville sighed as the two were set down in the boat, soaking wet and glaring. "You should really reel in that _short_ temper of yours Fullmetal." Harry fumed at the bastard's smug look as they headed toward the castle.

Harry couldn't stand still as he watched the ghosts fly over head, laughing and talking as if they were alive. He wondered what kept them tied to the earthly plain before the old croon from before appeared and looked them over with indifference. He growled lowly as her wandering eyes landed in distain on Neville, who had his cloak on backwards.

Hermione kept a firm hand on his shoulder as they were told to line up. "Don't cause a scene Fullmetal." She hissed in his ear before departing to the front of the line. Harry huffed as he wandered to the back. The doors to the hall burst open and the children lined up began to walk forward. "When I call your name, please come up to the sorting hat to be sorted." Harry ignored the voice behind him muttering about his dumb brothers telling him they were gonna fight a troll.

"Granger,Hermione." He looked up when the bastard was called, wondering where the hat would put him. "Slytherin!" He could practically see the jaws dropping as the Colonel walked over to the table, head held high and eyes cold.

More names were called before Alphonse was next. "Longbottom, Neville." The hat barely touched the boy before shouting. "Hufflepuff!" Harry flashed his brother a grin as he passed before finally his own name was called.

"Potter, Harry." Immediately whispers broke out as he walked up to the stool and sat down, a devil may care grin on his face as the hat was placed on his head. It was silent for a moment before a voice whispered in his ear,

"_Such vast knowledge from someone so young." _Harry flinched, wondering where the voice was coming from. "_You're brash like a Griffindor, but you'd probably clash to often with them."_

_ '_Wha?'

"_You're mighty __ loyal, but the Puffs would be eaten alive with your attitude." '_The damn hat is talking.' "_That leaves Slytherin and Ravenclaw, but you're more a Raven than a Snake so the best choice for you would be-"_

"RavenClaw!" The blue coloured house cheered as Harry walked over to it. He gave the red and gold table a look before sitting down. 'Damn hat, red's totally my colour.' He ignored the students all trying to talk to him before jumping as food appeared suddenly before him.

Having skipped breakfast he helped himself to the food around him. Harry steered clear from the milk and sniffed at the pumpkin juice before settling on a glass of water. 'I could get used to this.' He thought as he continued to eat.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey Al! We should start looking for a good place to begin training!" Neville looked up from his book as Harry came strutting forward, his bag slung over his shoulder and a cocky grin on his face. He sighed, closing his book he stood to face his brother.

"Shouldn't we wait for the Colonel? He might want to join us." Harry's grin dropped, replaced by a scowl at the mention of Hermione.

"The bastard can train by himself, we don't need-"

"Need what shorty?" He jumped at the voice.

"Hello Colonel." Hermione waved at Neville before turning an eye at Harry.

"Was there something you were gonna say midget or did you _short _circuit?" The grin on her face caused him to growl.

"I was saying we don't need a useless bastard slowing us down."

"If I recall on the train you couldn't even perform a basic transmutation." Harry blushed in embarrassment before turning away.

"Just give it a rest Ed, you'll only pull a muscle." Neville, always the voice of reason, scolded his brother before smiling at the Colonel.

"Don't mind him Colonel, he's probably just tired."

"Tired of being short."

"That's it!" Harry launched himself at Hermione, who easily dodged him and pinned him to the ground.

"You're pretty rusty Fullmetal, have you been keeping in shape?" The smaller squirmed in her hold.

"There weren't any places near where I lived to train, damn it let go!" Neville sighed in defeat at the two.

"It's gonna be a long year."

* * *

"What the hell is this?!" Hermione sighed as Harry glared at the transfiguration teacher.

"Language , 10 points from Ravenclaw." The alchemist barely paid her any mind, his focus on the tea cup she transfigured from a cat.

"Where the hell is the equivalent exchange?" He ran hypothesis after hypothesis in his mind as the professor returned the cup back into a cat.

Once her demonstration was over they were all told to change their beetles into buttons. Harry scowled down at his own insect, not really in the mood to harm an innocent creature.

"Is there a problem over her ?" The stern woman from the sorting asked, eyes narrowed and a frown on her face.

The alchemist huffed as he picked up his wand, an unusual combination of blackthorn and fir wood with a thestral tail hair and phoenix feather core 11inches unyielding, and waved it over the beetle. The insect seemed to still for a second before becoming a shiny blue button.

Professor McGonagall gave the boy a smile and praised him for such quick spell work. Hermione rolled her eyes once the teacher turned her back to them and leaned over to inspect the beetle turned button.

"Seems normal enough." She picked up the button, seeing no signs of the beetle anywhere until she felt a soft thump against her finger.

Hermione hissed softly before casting the spell again, returning the beetle to it's natural state.

Professor McGonagall praised the two for picking up the spell so easily, not really seeing the pale looks the two were casting at each other.

* * *

Neville didn't bother asking the two why they were so quiet when he took the same class an hour later.

"Geez, this whole transfiguration shit is terrible." Harry frowned down at his lunch, mismatched green and gold eyes dazed.

Hermione merely grunted beside him, not in the mood to talk.

"There isn't equivalent exchange happening at all, it's like this magic crap is over-riding the laws." He exclaimed, waving his fork around.

Neville hummed as he added more meat to his brother's plate.

"You two haven't been in the wizarding world for to long, here it's normal to turn anything your mind desires into reality." The duo blinked, forgetting for a second that Al was born into the magical world and they were raised in the muggle world.

"Great, more shit to discover."

"Now now shorty, don't get your panties in a bunch." Harry growled at the smirking teen, rage swimming in his eyes.

"You asking for an ass whooping bastard?"

"With you? Ha, you could barely reach me if you tried." With a roar the boy leapt at the laughing girl, knocking the both of them to the ground. Neville sighed into his palm as the teachers came and separated them.

Harry was led off to his head of house while Hermione followed the greasy bat chimera reject out of the hall.

"A quiet year must be to hard to ask for huh?"

* * *

The first month of classes flew by like the wind, leaving Harry dizzy as the beginnings of October crept foreword.

"Damn, has is really been a month already? Time sure flies huh Alphonse?" Neville nodded as he scooped another helping of eggs onto the other's plate.

Hermione hummed from beside him, a steaming cup of black coffee in her hand and a newspaper in the other.

The trio were currently seated at the Ravenclaw table for the day, usually switching seating every week.

Harry had just finished his second helping when the owl-post came flying in.

"Great, more flying rats to shit on my day."

"Hush brother." Hermione eyed the owls with disdain as a black crow came and settled before her.

The bird cawed, lifting his leg up for her to remove the letter attached.

Neville blinked as a large bird came and crashed into Harry, causing the boy to fall backwards.

"Argh! Damnit Spike, you almost killed me." The bird crooned, large amber eyes sparkling with mirth.

"That's not an owl Fullmetal." Hermione called as Harry lifted himself up, the large bird nearly towering over him.

The pre-teen grinned, letting his pet climb onto his shoulders.

"I couldn't settle on just some boring old owl, I wanted something with style." Nevilled rubbed his nose as Hermione sighed.

"Even reincarnated you still have horrible taste."

"What'd you say bastard?!"

"Could you two not fight this early in the morning?" Harry huffed as he settled down, Spike preening his messy hair.

Hermione grinned smugly over her coffee before returning to the paper in her hands.

"Looks like the bank's been robbed." The alchemist perked up at the mention of Gringotts.

"It was? I wonder who the idiot was that stole from them." He rubbed his chin in thought before going back for another plate.

Neville looked over the muggleborn's shoulder to see the date. "It appears the bank's been robbed several months ago, why are they sending this out now?" The three shared a look before shrugging, unconcerned of the matter, to busy with classes to care about an event that happened before school started.

"What class do we have now?"

"Charms I believe."

"With the short professor? Sweet." Harry got along well with his head of house, seeing as the man was way shorter then him.

Neville sighed as the two stood from the table and headed off to class, leaving him behind.

"Those two,"

A sweat-drop appeared over his head.

"Will be the destruction of Hogwarts."


	3. Chapter 3

Halloween day crept upon the trio very suddenly.

Harry grumbled darkly as he trudged behind Neville toward the Great Hall. "What the hell's so great about Halloween? It's just another holiday." The two sat down at the RavenClaw table to wait for Hermione.

Harry scowled as his glass filled with an orange like substance reeking of pumpkin. "What's this stuff?"

"It's pumpkin juice."

"At least it isn't milk." Taking a sip he regretted everything and spit it out all over the table.

Neville didn't seem at all surprised as he merely watched his brother hack up the drink. "Truth's balls that stuff sucks." Wiping his mouth on his sleeve he reached over for a glass of water.

"Damn wizards and their stupid weird drinks. Can't these bastards have some normal shit to drink?"

Hermione chose that moment to walk in, arms filled with a mysterious package. "Good morning Neville, Shorty." Harry opened his mouth to retort, but the taller girl merely slapped a hand over his face.

"Shut up midget, the adults are talking." Hermione left the smaller boy to stew in his anger before turning to Neville.

"What crawled up his ass and died?"

"Breakfast isn't agreeing with brother at the moment."

"Well, that doesn't matter at the moment." Ignoring the 'Hey!' shouted at them the girl set the package she had been carrying down before them.

"This was left on my bed this morning." Harry quieted as he also looked at the box. "What the hell is it?"

"I don't know, that's why I brought it down to see if you two knew anything."

"Why the hell would we know bastard?"

"You're right, any brain cells you try to use might all vanish."

"Why you-." Neville grunted as he held on to his struggling brother as he tried to leap at the smirking girl.

"Your buttons are so easy to push midget." Harry fumed, frothing at the mouth as he tried to attack the other.

"Could you two please stop making a scene? You're attracting the wrong kind of attention." Neville pleaded as he looked around the room.

Both Hermione and Harry paused in their actions to notice the silence in the air.

"Shit, let's take this outside." The only female of the trio quickly grabbed her mystery box and dragged both Neville and Harry out of the hall.

* * *

"What the hell? All this drama over some stupid junk?" Harry grumbled as he sat on the bed, kicking his feet. Hermione was tempted to tease him about not being able to touch the ground, but she kinda agreed with him.

"Who would send you a box full of junk? Your parents maybe?" Neville pondered softly, but the girl merely shook her head.

"They don't talk with me much, and they're not the type to send shit to me unless they want something broken." The boy shivered at the dark look the other had before changing the subject.

Harry took that opportunity to go and rummaged through the trinkets, not really bothering to listen to the two.

'Let's see here, what can I find that's interesting-oh, hello there.' He grinned widely, pulling out a large slab of rock.

Both teens looked over at him as Harry walked over to his desk. "Whatcha got there brother?"

"Oh, nothing really." He set the rock on the desk and stood back.

"Just gonna test a theory of mine is all." Harry clapped his hands and placed them right on the rock. A burst of electricity blasted through the room as the transmutation occurred, nearly sending the three to the ground.

Hermione cursed loudly as she felt the currents race through her body, nearly electrocuting her. Neville didn't fare much better, seeing as he was closer to the blast he got a bit burnt around his arms shielding his face.

Harry, meanwhile, was holding on for dear life as his theory went a bit to far. The table groaned under his hands and cracked, sending the boy backwards into the wall, Hermione and Neville close behind.

Upon being removed from the transmutation the electricity flowing through the room began to fade way as it's main source of power was gone, letting the three slide to the floor with groans and curses.

"Next time you wanna fuck around with unknown shit Fullmetal, warn us first." Hermione snarled tiredly as she glared at the curled up pre-teen.

Harry was to tired to responded with an insult, so he remained silent on the matter. "Well, at least that's over with." Their roommates chose that moment to walk in.

"What the bloody hell happened here?!" Looks like they're not gonna have a quiet evening.

* * *

"Ack! Damn tree." Harry spit out several leaves as he laid on the bed, a cast over his leg and in a foul mood. Neville merely hummed from beside him as he red through their potions text.

"It's your own fault for bothering it brother. Everyone warned you about going against the Whomping Willow." The boy just huffed before looking to the side. "How're your hands Colonel Bastard?" He called to where Hermione also laid, both arms wrapped in casts.

She threw him a dirty look. "Do I look fine you ass? I just got my ass served to me by a damn tree of all things."

Harry grinned at her anger, clearly enjoying it.

"The only reason you both are injured is because Hermione decided to throw you at the tree and that said tree retaliated by attacking you." Neville glared at both of them, causing them to gulp in fear.

"I didn't think the bastard would throw me at the damn thing, we were supposed to tag team the fucker." Hermione huffed softly as she looked away from them. "I couldn't resist the urge to do so." Neville sighed in annoyance at the two 'Adults' before him.

"Why is it that the two of you are spiritually older, but have the mental age of five? I'm the youngest out of the three of us and I'm much more mature then the two of you combined." He pressed a hand over the bridge of his nose.

"Why can't you two just act normal for once? You're gonna give me grey hair, and I'm not even forty yet!" Hermione and Harry glanced at each other in guilt before the smaller opened his arms.

"Come here Al, I know you're stressed out from all of our antics, we'll try to calm down on our fights for a while until you're better." He scowled at Hermione.

"You better agree too bastard." The colonel merely nodded before going back to reading the book she had snuck in to the hospital wing. After that whole emotional moment they spent the remainder of the time simply sitting in silence before the nurse ushered Neville out and forced the two to drink nasty tasting potions.

"What the hell?! This shit tastes like milk!"

She had then put them to rest and retired for the night. Harry had grumbled the entire night but fell asleep once the potion kicked in, Hermione following right after.

Soon, morning came and Neville popped in to check on them before heading off to class. He chuckled quietly before snapping several pictures of Harry cuddled up in his blankets, and of Hermione hanging off the bed, drool dripping from her mouth.

He hide the pictures away for future blackmail and went over to wake the chaotic duo. Knowing how the colonel was in the mornings he had brought peace offerings to not get on the other's bad side.

Hermione grumbled softy but accepted the offered coffee small smile before remembering she couldn't hold the damn mug. Neville merely levitated the cup close to her so that she could drink from it.

Harry meanwhile remained sleeping until Spike flew into the Hospital Wing and announced his presence with a hard thwack to Harry's skull.

"Ow! What the hell Spike?! Why can't you wake me up normally?" The large Bearded Vulture merely cawed before thwacking him again.

"Alright alright I'm awake." Throwing the bird a glare he turned his attention to the duo beside him.

"Where's my coffee?" "You can't have any, or you'll stunt your growth." Neville said as he set the empty mug to the side. Harry pouted at not having some coffee before Hermione made a comment.

"You can't really stunt his growth if he was actually growing, Shorty here is gonna remain small forever." Harry growled at the comment and made to lung at the other, forgetting that he was in a cast.

"Brother wait-" A loud crash echoed through the wing as the boy dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes, clutching his other leg and letting out curses that would make a sailor blush. Neville sighed at his brother's actions before rushing off to find the nurse.

"Why can't these two stay out of trouble for once?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Why are the two of you such menaces? Can't we have a normal day for once?" Neville sighed tiredly as he trekked behind the sulking pre-teen before him.

The two had just nearly finished another transfiguration class with Professor Mcgonagall when Harry had decided it would be interesting to see if he could incorporate alchemy into the lesson to limit the need for magic and Hermione had of course made a comment about his '_little_ patience' in actually learning magic and his '_short_ attention span' as he spaced out during the written portion.

Harry had not taken that well as he leapt at the smirking colonel, knocking the both of them to the ground and throwing blows before the professor had to escort them to her office to receive their detentions.

"It's all that damn Colonel's fault, she started all that shit." The boy nursed his black eye with a wince.

"And you should have been the mature one and not rise up to the bait." Neville held a worried look on his face as he followed the smaller outside to the courtyard.

"Yeah yeah, at least she's also getting detention with me."

"A very odd one though, I thought the forest was forbidden to students?" Harry only shrugged, not really caring about all the details.

"Who cares? Maybe I'll find something interesting in there."

"Your mind is always somewhere else, brother."

* * *

"This place has your aesthetic written all over it, Fullmetal." Hermione commented, dryly, as the duo wandered through the thick bushes. Harry rolled his eyes as he swatted away a very large bug.

"Nah, this shit is way more emo then what I'm used to."

"Shorty, you wore black all the damn time. If that isn't edgy then I don't know what is."

"Hey! Don't call me short! I'm still growing."

"Yeah, growing like a shrimp." Harry grit his teeth, a curse on the tip of his tongue before the sounds of a scream echoed through the forest.

"What the hell was that?!"

"I believe that was our other classmate and our guide."

"Oh yeah, the giant man that looks kinda like Armstrong and the ferret kid with the daddy issues."

"You're one to talk about issues."

"Hey! I still hate that bastard even if he's dead." Another scream interrupted them, causing Hermione to sigh in annoyance.

"As much fun as this is, there seems to be trouble up a head."

"Great, this place was much to calm for my liking."

"You're always looking for trouble huh Fullmetal?"

"No, trouble comes looking for me."

"Can't argue with that." The two bolted to where the scream was the loudest, bursting through a clearing where they spotted an injured unicorn and an unconscious blonde. A tall hooded figure was squaring off against their guide, the groundskeeper Hagrid.

"Should we help him?" Harry asked as he carefully walked toward the unicorn and fallen boy.

Hermione only shrugged, unconcerned with the battle several yards from their position. "If you want to, though I doubt you could do much in your current state." The boy hated to agree with her, but the girl was right.

If he went off and interfered he'd either get killed or injured and he really didn't want to worry Neville. Harry sighed in annoyance.

"Fine, what should we do then? Watch to see who wins?"

"No, we get civilians out of danger first." Hermione easily lifted up the unconscious pre-teen and hefted him over her shoulder. "Why don't you help the horse? It looks to be in bad shape."

Harry grumbled at being told what to do, but complied with the order and hesitantly approached the unicorn, who eyed in warily.

"Don't give me that look, you're injured and there might be someone at the school who can fix you up. I'd do it but my knowledge of healing alchemy is limited."

"Finally admitting you don't know everything? What has the world come to?"

"Fuck off Colonel bastard, I'm trying to calm this guy down-hey!" The boy jumped as he felt something nibble at his hair. The unicorn had hefted itself up and wandered over to him and decided his black/gold hair was food.

"Cut it out, you'll get horse spit on it." The unicorn ignored him, causing the boy to pout.

"Quit pouting and hurry up, the fight is drawing to a close." Cursing the boy followed after the other, the magic horse still nibbling his hair.

"And I though Neville was the animal type?"

"Shut up."

* * *

Neville really couldn't catch a break with these two could he?

Not only did Hermione carry the heir of Malfoy over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes, his brother had brought along a tag-along with them.

The unicorn had refused to let anyone beside Harry touch him, making it hard for any of the two healers at the school to patch him up.

They had to do it manually through Harry, who didn't seem to care as the horse got along with Spike well, the large bearded vulture had cooed and ruffled his feathers as he sat beside the horse, preening it's mane and such.

The resident magical creatures expert Professor Kettleburn had been flabbergasted at the sight of them, seeing as unicorns only let virgins and girls near them. Hermione had poked fun at the boy, saying not only is he short but the horse also thought he was a girl.

Harry would have leapt at the other, but there were teachers near by and he couldn't risk another detention.

"Woman just flock to me, Colonely bastard." He had intoned once the teachers had finally left. "So the horse if female then? Go figure." Neville took that chance to come closer to have a look, the unicorn neighing softly as he gently touched her snout.

"Her fur is very soft, like a cat's." Harry smiled fondly as he watched his brother pet the animal.

Hermione only sighed before collapsing beside him, the unicorn not making any fuss as it reached over and nibbled her hair as well. "So now we have a horse in our odd group. Joy."

"You attract so much trouble Ed."

"I do not, Silver found me."

"Silver? You named the horse that?"

"What? It's a cool name, plus it's blood is silver."

"I worry for your children brother."

"Hey!"


End file.
